


The Adventures of Janus the Selfcare Snake

by Spacegaywritings



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Remus mention, Roceit - Freeform, Self Care, Snake Tongue, Snakes, Tongues, antagonising remus, being stuck, non-sexual nudity, one (1) flustered prince, yaaaaa heathens what did you expect lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24367486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacegaywritings/pseuds/Spacegaywritings
Summary: Snake tubes, POST POF.Roman is fed up with sharing a room. He wants Janus to help him get rid of Remus for just a moment but makes a nice discovery instead. They decide to.. compromise.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 95





	1. Snake Tubes

**Author's Note:**

> Might be a multichap of small things happening to Janus but idk yet. Have fun and leave me feedback ♥

It was yet another day in the mindscape.  
The air was tranquil, the space was vast and there was barely any sound to be heard.

Roman strove through the commons to get to the other side of the space.

He was a busy prince. The determined steps he took reflected his sense of duty, his current quest. He had to find a certain slimy snake and get him to finally get this atrocious Remus out of his room. The creative side was not in the mood to deal with this man today. Instead, he wanted to lay down and put on a face mask and simply relax but he could not have nice things in this group, could he?

As soon as he had taken out his nail polish, Remus had showed up to swallow it whole like a damn sugar cube.

His steps echoed through the hallway which led to every accepted side’s room. He had tried to lure Remus to the kitchen but he did not comply, no. He wanted to be a dirty trashrat and eat nail polish because this is what that cursed abomination of a soulmate had to do.

He was sick of it.

Remus always came when he wanted to do nice things. Why did they have to share a room again? Any side had their own room so far but Roman was stuck with a filthy garbage can.

An exasperated sigh escaped his lips as he finally calmed down the haste in his intense stomps. It felt as if the world was a bit more stable and silent now.  
His anger might have shook the mindscape a bit. Too bad he was creativity. His feelings and thoughts shaped the appearance of this place. It went as far as to affect even the private chamber assigned to each side.

Except in his room where Remus reigned with his stupid “stinki law” or whatever brainless stupidity he had come up with.

“Janus!”

The steps ceased. Instead, he straightened his posture and fixed his hair. The self-proclaimed prince swallowed and knocked at the stone door.  
Stone - only Roman would be fancier had Remus his own room rather than invade his precious space. Why did Thomas have to accept all these people again? They were not even good!

And why was he not answering!?

The royal knocked again.

Still no answer.  
More time passed. Roman started tapping his foot when Janus still did not bother to even say something, indicate he was there or open the door for all he cared and wanted.

If someone else was as good at catching Remus and keeping him busy, then he would be pestering someone else but nO the trash tamer was the only adequate arm in the art of ambushing Remus and kick him out once more.

He just needed a few hours to himself.

“Janus!”

.....

The royal groaned.

“I am giving you another moment to answer or I will just come in, I warned you. I just need you to get Remus out of my sight for a few hours - it is for Thomas!”

Even after this, there was taunting silence. It was the most disrespectful noise he had ever been tortured with. The audacity of refusing to acknowledge his presence, his words and his requests!

“That’s it, I am coming in!”

True to his words, Roman grabbed the heavy stone and moved it aside with surprisingly little effort. His hands burned in rage and cut through the air like a war plane.  
When the prince entered Janus’ room, the same gloomy silence engulfed him. It was a cryptic sort of environment to him, much like Remus’ presence. It was rather unlike Janus and something within him started to feel foul.

This was rather disconcerting.

Janus was the classy person, not the mysterious guy. Well, not anymore. He had revealed enough of himself to have lost all of his mystical aura.  
Now he was just a -

“BACK OFF, FIEND!”

Roman stumbled over something and sent himself right onto the floor. Great, just great. He was supposed to give himself a cooling face mask made of active coal and avocado - not stone ground and shed scale pieces.

Wait, what?

“..ugh..”

He peeled the sharp pieces off his face and blinked around. Something about Janus’ room was odd and it was not just the fact that Janus himself was missing. The usual tranquillity and timeless feeling of floating above it all was gone.  
Usually, Roman cared a little less about everything whenever he found himself to be in here but now he was stuck in this room and as connected to the rest of the world as per usual.

“Janus!”

His voice turned angered by now. It was spicy like his ill temper. He sat up and was just about to fully get up to his feet when he saw a little paper roll role over the floor. Well, it rather turned over itself aimlessly and suddenly laid there, unmoving and lethargic like an overfed snake.

Snake?

He inched in, examining the unknown object. It turned out to actually be nothing but one of these paper rolls of which people pulled their toilet paper off.  
And further... yellow! Yellow scales!

“Janus..”

His voice was softer. Almost a peace offering when his regal fingers slowly reached out to pick up the little roll and bring it up to his face. Indeed, a short lemon snake was stuck in the roll. Short and wide. It was not like toilet paper rolls had the smallest diameter in the world.

“Janus, is this you?”

The snake hissed, whipping the end of his body at Roman. If this snake had eyebrows, he would look angrier than Logan after implying he might not be 100% right about all he said - which was all the time, if you asked Roman. But that was only his very humble and very right opinion.

“Ah, yes. It is you. I almost mistook you for Virgil with how angry you got by just looking at me.”

His paper roll trembled and shifted with Janus’ intense movements. Snakes were not the most agile animals, from what Roman knew, but Janus seemed more than keen to get out of his grip. Even if that meant falling onto the ground.

“Janus, are you stuck?”

Yellow shrank into the roll and immediately launched forward so violently, Roman lost hold of the roll and dropped it. It slid out of his hands, moved towards the floor while Janus regretted his spiteful reactions for only a moment before-  
..before Roman caught the roll and carefully set it down onto the ground.

“I can help you, Janus. I know.. we don’t love each other but.. I need your help, you need my help. Let me be a prince to you and cut you free and you shall shackle Remus’ impulses for just a few hours, so I can help Thomas recover.”

The boopnoodle stilled for a moment and turned his head. Only now was it that Roman realised Janus’ head. It was the same - or, well, a miniature version of it. Black, tiny, covering the top of his head. It was typical Dec- Janus. It was the typical Janus he knew and uh.. well.. knew.  
A little smile stole itself onto his lips.

Janus flicked his tongue at him and the prince couldn’t help but widen his smile.

“Trust me for a while, Janus.”

Roman conjured up a simple carpet knife and softly started to trace it over the paper roll with just enough pressure on the blade to drag little carves into it. It was not yet fully cut but with a little more wiggling around from Janus, the roll burst at the line Roman has gently cut.  
The snake was free, unharmed and ..

He looked at Roman who seemed so gentle all of a sudden. Janus was comfortable in his warm and caring hands. There was no harm in them.  
The knife was gone and only a precious prince remained. A rather handsome one, to be frank~

Janus stretched a bit, reaching out into the air and leaned in to press his boopsnoot against Roman’s lips for just a moment before sliding down to the floor and retreating into the heart of his room. The prince was left to freeze and stare after him, cheeks ablaze and eyes alive.

“Jan-”

The snake stopped and looked at Roman before flicking his tail at the creative side. Janus seemed longer than before.  
Automatically, Roman’s legs started moving and he accepted his fate in self-care heaven side by side with Janus, the self-care snake. He was at the heart of Thomas’ resting centre. Logically, he followed Janus suit when the snake slid into a warm tub of water and turned back into his human self.  
He did not even hesitate a split second when the man held his hat and put it aside, a burning longing in his warm orbs.


	2. Warmth = snake-friendly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sides get ready for a relaxed film night but Patton finds Janus to be missing. Turns out, snakes were the most silent little sliders in the mindscape!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags: food mention, literally all sides, some puns, janus as snake, platonic anxceit/moceit/moxieceit
> 
> Please consider leaving Kudos and Comments as they help me out a lot.♥ You can also support my work (see on Tumblr)

Another day in the mindscape.  
It was evening already and while Thomas prepared for a relaxed evening of watching a show and taking care of himself, his sides did so, too.

“I got the popcorn!”

Roman placed yet another bowl on the coffee table. The other sides cluttered the couch already. The sight already elicited feelings of comfort and warmth.   
They were all pretty much cuddled up. Remus actually managed to dress somewhat neatly (a pair of soggy jogging pants and a badly stained shirt, but hey! Small steps. At least he didn’t smell bad.) while Logan was in a more comfortable set of clothing. The rest was in the onesies they had worn for some videos before.

Well, almost everyone.  
Patton noted the absent of only one side. No one else.  
He looked around, scanning the couch and trying to count it out multiple times, only to discover he was actually right.

“Hey, kiddos. I think someone is missing.”

He gave them an awkward smile which Roman returned with a bright beam.

“Oh padre, don’t be silly! We are all here!”, he stood before the couch and loudly started naming everyone before stopping abruptly, “See? There is me - the wonderful prince Roman - Three Days Gays, Alphabelicious, your adopted gremlin rat and you, padre -”

Roman blinked at the error and silently counted to himself. His fingers formed into fists and one by one rose up and stretched out. When he completed one hand, confusion came to settle on his face in exchange for concentration.

“What the heck! In the name of the holy Broadway, we are missing Janus!”

Patton gasped until his words hit him and guilt shadowed over his features. How had he not noticed this before? They were missing a whole side and he had not even understood who it was! He was a bad da-  
No. It was okay, he reminded himself. Things happened and he could make up for it.

Logan glanced up at them, sipping his iced coffee. The drink was sweeter than Patton’s soft compliments, Roman knew as much. He had made the mistake of trying the hell of Logan’s beverages before. All of them were just as disgustingly sugary.  
So much about healthy eating and drinking. Hypocrites be wearing ties -

“Guys, this is an issue. We wanted to meet up and all spend a nice day together. And now Janus is missing. We are not complete if it is not all of us together.”

Logan clicked his tongue at the comment.

“Well, one might have to add that we are metaphysical presentations of Thomas’ areas of functioning, his personality and motivations. It is not like we can really disappear. At most, some of us could be heavily repressed but I think we made substantial progress in that regard.”

Something rustled.  
Eating noises could be heard. Wet, loud sounds of chewing.

“Yeah, Thomas knows better than to repress us~ But if he so wants, we can arrange to do away with some of you and finally have him do all the fun things I suggest he pursues!”

Patton scowled at Remus.

“Nu-uh! You know, that is not the kind of nice behaviour we are promoting here.”

Remus pouted in return but Logan offered him the bowl of crisps which seemed to have him deeply enraptured. He hugged the bowl and started cronching on the crunchy delights instead of eating away at his deodorant.  
Why would anyone even eat deodorant?

“Well, Patton. I think we will be quite able to locate him. At worst, all we have to do is produce a falsehood in order to summon him. We might as well just visit his room in order to be less intrusive. If we want to be friendly and show him we are trying to invite him, he might be more inclined to join us.”

Patton nodded softly, his hands were wrapped around one another in front of his chest. His eyes looked wide and warm, if not wet. Logan blinked at him and offered him a hesitant smile before dipping into his comforting voice.

“It will be okay. Maybe he forgot.”

A smile returned to the dad figure’s face.

“Thank you, Logan!”

The moral side curled back against Logan, who was sandwiched between Patton and Remus by now. Virgil was next to Patton and carefully sat up while Roman took the seat next to him and drew a blanket around them.

Virgil cleared his throat.

“Not to be too distressing, but the emotional support liar is right here.”

He tapped his neck where a big piece of golden jewellery seemed to adorn his rather dark features. In fact, around his neck, there was.. there was Janus.  
Patton leaned in, a huge beam taking over his features.

“Oh! Janus, excuse my silliness! I did not see you there! I am so glad you slithered in~”

In the background, Logan drowned his groans in another jug of cold, plain coffee. The snake bleped at Patton before sliding over Virgil’s arm to Patton’s body and onto his shoulder. Patton gently brushed over the small head. Janus slowly sunk onto his shoulder, neither moving nor stirring in any way.

“Did I hurt him? Is he asleep -”

“He likes it warm. You keep him warm, he relaxes, Popstar.”

Patton nodded and gently cupped the little boopnoodle with his hands. His fingers were arched in a way they formed some kind of bowl for the small Janus to reside close with him.

“Aw, I will keep you warm, little noodle!”

Thus, Janus ended up curled up in Patton’s cardigan, between Virgil’s and Patton’s lap where he happily bleped at the film and was gingerly fed some snacks as they all watched the film together. The dynamic duo made sure to affectionately cuddle Janus as well, making him the happiest snake in the entire Thomasphere.


End file.
